Author: Kathy Stephens

  • The Pulling and the Airport

    ByKathy Stephens

    airplaneToday was like any other day. I got up and drove to Jackson to meet my kids to assist with choosing a chair for their new home. Afterwards they wanted to take me to lunch. WE had worked up an appetite… we were hungry from all the hunger games they were playing at miskelly’s. OMG you would have thought they were giving the store away. Truth was there was many great door prizes and free chocolate chip cookies. You can’t have a party without chocolate chip cookies right.. I just knew they were going to draw my name for the 12 pm $1,000 give away. I was like OH YEAH, I’m going to win this shopping spree. BUT truth is another lady won and she didn’t even act excited. It was a drum roll moment and she just came tip toeing through the crowd like she was there for a dental appointment. ha There is a point to this story so hang with me.

    There is a heart wrenching point to this story. As we were leaving Miskellys my son says, “follow me”. I did. we pulled out and he turned onto Hwy. 80 and then made that left hand turn heading straight out to the airport . ( to get over to lakeland drive where the food was) The moment we turned I began to feel my body tense up, my mouth got dry and my heart began to race. There it was….. the exit ramp to the airport. I could see the roundabout and the long tree covered entrance to the departure curb. The very place i had dropped Dennis off and picked him up for 23 years. It was as if my car was PULLING ME. Pulling me towards the exit. It was overwhelming. I began to just cry my eyes out. I began to see his face that last trip we made. I saw him standing there telling me for the last time how much he loved me. It was the last place I saw him alive. I wanted to GO there. I thought, GOSH how many first can there still be. This one was so unexpected and overwhelming. It felt as if another little piece of my heart broke off today so I came home emotionally tired from the inside out. I knew I had to find comfort in HIS WORD. I found comfort in Psalms 31:3-4 it says “For You are my rock and my fortress; Therefore, for Your names’s sake, Lead me and guide me. Pull me out of the net which they have secretly laid for me, for YOU ARE MY STRENGTH. ” This net for me is the grief monster. He continues to raise his little head but GOD continues to HOLD ME with his RIGHT hand and lift me up. I have to believe that IN all this HE is guiding me, growing me and teaching me that HE IS ENOUGH. He is pulling me in alittle closer to HIM. Have you been pulled lately? Is there something that is chipping away at your heart? Allow HIM to PULL YOU IN……

  • In Love…

    ByKathy Stephens

    In LoveI felt his arms squeeze me tight as he sorta pulled me over to HIM. My head was laying on his shoulder ( well chest) and he said these words. “Kathy, I’m in love with you.” WOW…. really? With me? I think those were the sweetest words I”d ever heard. There was just something different about them this time.

    I know your thinking that I said it right back. WELL… the truth is I didn’t. Infact my response was , “don’t say that”..”you don’t mean that”. I”m not comfortable with that cause everyone I”ve ever loved has left me.” I remember it just like it was yesterday. He pulled me in even tighter and he said, “Well I’m not those people and I will never leave you.” It took awhile for me to tell Dennis how much I loved him. Having been divorced prior to meeting him I wanted to be sure that if I committed to our relationship that I could remain there and that my distorted view of Love was not going to be taken into our future. I almost immediately began going to a Christian Counselor to talk about love, marriage, being left, etc. etc. On my very first visit to the Counselor I blurted out my concerns. What if He does this, what if he does that and what if I find myself divorced again? He didn’t say a word, He reached over for his bible and began to read me 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7. To be honest, I was like Yeah, Yeah, that’s in the BOOK…. I know that. Then he looked at me and said, “does this describe Dennis?” I have to admit it took me back for a moment . I was overcome with the question. “YES”, I screamed, “YES, It sure does. He is all that and MORE.” His response was, “then I’d say you’ve got yourself a keeper.” BOY was he right.

    We began to dig into my past, the things I’d been through, the loss I had experienced through losing my father at 15. IT was a tuff journey that lasted about 8 months. ( PAUSE) Then one day I felt the burden begin to lift from my heart. I began to realize that Dennis meant every single thing he said. WELL…. you know the story I finally gave him, was late to our wedding but we got hitched just the same. ha

    I’d never known the kind of love that Dennis showed me. He never kept score, He was always kind, always forgiving , he was just always……. People use to say , “well he deserves an award to have put up with you for 23 years.” Funny thing is, he probably did. I had finally after 23 years let my guard totally down to the truth that he truly did love me. Oh and somewhere along the way I did tell him that I loved him more than life itself. I am so thankful for all that he taught me, shared with me and how he always made me feel like I was valuable. I was in LOVE….

    I say all this just in case YOU ( WIFEY) are wondering this morning if it’s worth it. Wondering what you got yourself into? Wondering if there is something better out there because things have become alittle boring at home. The spark is gone. I’m sure many of you get tired of me talking about Dennis and how wonderful he was. I tell people he surely wasn’t perfect…. but He was perfect for ME. I miss him more than any words or writings could ever tell you.

    I made a lot of mistakes over the 23 years we were together but I learned some tips and tricks along the way to. Here are a few of them.

    1. Stop & listen to him. Let him do the talking sometime. Let him know you value what he has to say.
    2. Take the time to applaud his efforts no matter how big or small they may seem.
    3. So what if the garbage didn’t get taken out… Take it yourself.
    4. Got a tube of lipstick? Write him a love note on his bathroom mirror.
    5. Reach over and grab his hand, hold it tight. You never know when it might no longer be there.
    6. Be sexy, laugh a lot, act crazy, cook breakfast naked. Yeah, I said it. ha ha

    The one thing that changed the dynamics of our marriage was when we started reading God’s word together. Over the years we read devotionals together, did a few bible studies together and MORE Than that we prayed together. Did we do it every single day? I wish I could tell you yes but I’d be lying. It was a growing process just like marriage. It doesn’t have to be some elaborate prayer, just start talking to God together.

    Being a wedding Photographer for so long I heard a lot of wedding ceremonies and one of the verses that stood out to me is found in Ecclesiastes where God’s word talks about “a Threefold cord is not quickly or easily broken” That’s YOU, YOUR HUSBAND AND GOD. Put God in the center and begin to weave your life around HIM and see what a difference it makes. That should really be Number ONE if you thought I was putting this advice in some kind of order.

    Now before you go thinking i’m trying to say we had it all together … we did NOT. Remember these are just the things I learned through the years. We still had disagreements and there were days I didn’t like Dennis too much and I can assure you there was many days he didn’t like KATHY. BUT we just never gave up on each other nor the promise we made on July 2, 1994….. So I ask you, “are you IN LOVE?” Love is a commitment, it requires patience, it demands your attention, it makes sacrifices, IT should take all you got until it’s gone.

    Love you Dennis…..